Grooms typically have less on their plate, but it’s still an important plate

By Darin J. McCann, Executive Editor | Photos by NDP Photography

It was Konstantin Stanislavski who so-famously said, “There are no small roles, only small actors.”

Well, grooms-to-be, if the run-up to your wedding is anything like mine was, you will not only be playing a small role, but you’ll be doing it as a small actor. And you best not flub your lines.

All in all, it’s not a bad gig being the groom. You’re in everybody’s top, say, six most important characters in the wedding. You get to have cake. There’s usually a cocktail to be found at some point during the festivities. Just don’t screw it up.

You know: Handle your business.

If you’re like me, your best bet is to make a checklist — one that you can adjust as you go, that you won’t lose, and that you won’t get confused over later when you’ve inevitably procrastinated long enough and only have X number of hours left to get everything handled.

And let’s keep in mind, you might need to make more than one checklist. You might have one for your bachelor party, and one for the day of the wedding, with another for your honeymoon. Or you might have a destination wedding that requires you to bring appropriate apparel for a rehearsal dinner, group excursion, or any other number of things that might be planned.

Just. Don’t. Screw. This. Up.

Fellas, there’s an old saying that goes something to the effect of, “Guys worry about the marriage, while girls worry about the wedding.”

Well, vows fit both. This is your promise to your partner-in-life-to-be and if you are writing your own, this better be specific, it better be heart-felt and it better be on your person for the big moment. Take time with the vows, then take more time to read them over, and then take a little more time to make them perfect.

And then, for the love of God, make sure you have them on you for the big moment.

Besides those vows and, well, you, some other items should be at the wedding—and you might be the one who's expected to bring them. Check on this before you put together your final checklist.

I’m talking about the marriage license, wedding rings, envelopes with tips for the officiant or drivers or planner, etc. Sit down with your spouse when you have a minute and make sure this is locked down before you produce the final checklist.

Wear them or bring them.

It sounds like common sense, but you should have a full checklist just for your wedding attire, and don’t leave anything out. And I do mean “anything.”

I flew more than 3,000 miles for my wedding in Ireland in 2007 and thought I was on top of my stuff. Had the tux packed safely, got traveler's checks, etc. The day of the wedding came, and I realized I did not bring shoes.

You know, those things that go on your feet?

I had to run out and buy a ridiculously expensive pair the morning of my wedding, hurry back to get dressed on a day that was already filled with stress, and realize that I also hadn’t packed my cufflinks, so the ends of my sleeves were waving around like a pair of windsocks. Ended up lucking out with a pair I found at a gift shop, but that could have been a pretty bad situation.

Check your list. And then check it again.

Certainly, you’ll remember to shower and brush your teeth before the big moment (if you are even having the slightest of doubts on this one, add it to your list). But there are other things to consider, especially if you are traveling.

Remember soap, deodorant, a lint roller for your suit or tux, allergy medication if you need it, a comb, hair product, shaving cream, etc.

It sounds simple, but you don’t want to be standing in front of your mirror on the big day and realize you have to run out to get deodorant.

Put it all on your list.

Take charge of the family you are bringing into this union.

Make sure your parents and siblings are where they need to be, have everything ready they need to have ready, and are not fighting amongst themselves and being a disruption.

This is probably not at the forefront of your mind, but keeping a lid on any potential family drama can be a relief to every other person there for the wedding, including your spouse-to-be.

It’s a wedding. You are marrying the person you consciously decided to spend the rest of your life with—smile.