I hated my daughter’s husband the day she was born.
They handed me this incredible little bundle of innocence and purity who had never uttered a poor word about anyone. She had yet to have her feelings hurt by the words of another or talked back to her adoring father. She was, in my way of thinking, God’s gift to the rest of humanity — a clean canvas that, yes, held a clear moral superiority to the rest of the world. And I was more than ready to knuckle down any fool who threatened that.
That doesn’t really go away. Oh, there’s some talking-back that can make you shiver from time to time, and moments when you might not be entirely clear what forces of evil have invaded the soul of that child standing before you, but she’s still your little girl. You still want to hold her. You still want to protect her. You still never want to let her go.
Alas, it doesn’t always work out that way, does it? Our daughters do grow up, they do become their own people and, in many cases, they do find that special someone who suddenly becomes the most important person in her life. And then, those two decide to get married — and you find yourself morphing into “The Father of the Bride.”
Obviously, it can hurt to have to hand her over to another, but you still want to be her Superman, right? You have a role in this wedding, and you plan to do everything in your power to not let her down. You will be the greatest father of the bride the world has ever seen!
But, um, what does that mean?
“Once upon a time, it was customary for the bride’s dad to pay for the whole wedding,” explained weddingideasmag.com. “Thankfully, we’ve moved on from those days, but if your dad is contributing to your wedding, have the conversation with him to establish budget and boundaries.”
So, this is pretty clearly saying it is no longer customary for the father of the bride to pay for the wedding, right? I didn’t get past that part. Did I miss anything?
The same site suggested that wedding-day transport has often fallen to the bride’s father, as has making sure at the end of the festivities that the presents are all, well, present. Also, under the category of “Stuff My Daughter Hopes Never Happens to Her in Public,” it states pretty clearly that the father of the bride makes a speech. “Have fun with tailoring it to you and your daughter’s unique relationship.”
I’m starting to warm to this role, if only for that.
Brides.com shared that another father-of-the-bride responsibility that I can totally wrap my arms around is making sure the bar is stocked. I can do that. Heck, I can do all of this.
So can you, dads. Take a deep breath. This isn’t so bad, as long as you give yourself a list, set about completing each item on said list to the very best of your abilities to make your little girl proud, and basically stay out of the way of the really heavy lifting.
But don’t get too comfortable, fathers-of-the-brides. There is the matter of that dance. You know, the one where everybody is watching you and your daughter take center stage to “Butterfly Kisses” or “My Girl” or whatever tear-inducing cry-fest that is being played so you could enjoy one last dance with that amazing little ball of sunshine you held in your hands so many years ago, before you permanently hand her over to the new man in her life.
I think I’d rather just write the check.
